Archive for January, 2012

Eh

Posted: January 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

Ever have one of those days where everything you try to communicate is misunderstood? Or accidentally use the wrong word and have the person you are talking to grab onto it like a lifeline and not let it go, no matter how long or hard you try to explain?

Jeesh, I am exhausted from trying.

I will be the first to admit that I don’t do well under pressure.  When someone starts getting loud or the emotions get tense, well, then I get tense and my “flight or fight” senses go “Fly!  Fly, damn you!!”  But I don’t.  I stay and try to explain myself which lately ends up in me having to explain even more. Up to and including items from years and years ago.

Then, eventually I grow a backbone and try to be calm and reasonable and that quickly melts down into me behaving horribly (yelling, loosing my cool, screaming even, along with the cussing) and then I hear myself and feel like crap for letting words bother me like that.

So, with the wind out of my sails, I state my feelings.  My self truths.  The way I see it and invite the other person to take it how they want.  I have no control over it.  I’m done.

Now I feel a bit like – I don’t care.  And I’m not sure if I like this level of uncaring.  But I sure as hell won’t be bringing it up in conversation.

Oh no.  I may have a hard time communicating but I am a quick learner.

Wednesday starts the Month of Letters Challenge (website here: http://lettermo.com/)  I like communicating in letters.  I have to slow down and think about what I’m writing – not that occasionally my brain goes faster than my hand and I have to make some corrections, but it’s the time of writing and reading over what I wrote that perhaps gives me a chance to make sure I am being clear.

Maybe I should start writing notes instead of talking.  But I’d still have to listen.

Eh. So much for brillant ideas

 

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Year of the Dragon

Posted: January 16, 2012 in Uncategorized
Chinatown Dragon

View of one of the many decorations in Chinatown

Work sent me to Singapore for a week – it was an amazing trip.  Even though there was work involved, the people we met with were a pleasure to work with and the project manager and I were able to go out wandering after work.  Two of the nights, I found myself in Chinatown (well, the Singapore version of it). 

Dragons!

There were many dragons to be found

They were gearing up for the Chinese New Year and I wanted to share some photographs. 

Chinatown in Singapore
One of the shops in Chinatown in Singapore

Now if I could just get my sleep cycle back to normal….

Where have I been ….

Posted: January 16, 2012 in Uncategorized

That title may be misleading because I’m not even sure what happened during the last X amount of months. 

I had taken up exercising – running to be precise.  Even competed in a 5k fun run and an obstacle course/mud run.  It was after the mud run that I ended up at a surgeons office getting an abscess taken care of.  And they noticed a strange mole on my arm which lead to seeing a dermatologist that sent that in for testing.

That came back positive for melanoma.  Scratch that – at first it came back as another doctor calling to say it was pre-cancerous and I just had to come in for another wider shaving – only to find out after the original doctor was back in the office that it was not precancerous, but cancerous and that I needed to see the surgeon again but I had a trip down to the main office of my company to take care of first.

That was in the beginning of December and I went for a lunch run in 80 degree, sunny, glorious weather only to have someone open the locker over my head while I was putting my shoes on and I stood up – quicky – and sat down quickly holding my head and trying not to swear when my manager (who happened to be in the locker room as well – thank god!) quietly said “Oh no. You’re bleeding”

So I opened my eyes and sure enough – I was bleeding.  A lot.  It was running down my arms and when I tried to keep it from running all over my shirt and pants I succeeded in getting it to run all over my face.  I felt like I was in a Stephen King movie or something.

One lady came in – looked at me and asked “Are you all right?”  Part of me wanted to say “What do you think?” in a snide voice – the other part of me wanted to say “Oh I’m fine!’ in a pleasant voice.  I ended up saying “I’m not sure.  Can I get back to you on that later?”   Obviously I’m passive aggressive when it comes to head injuries.

So bad luck comes in threes:  Abscess, Head Injury, Surgery. 

Then after the holiday i was in Singapore for a week for work.  I’m exhausted.  It’s in the middle of the night here in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin and I’m wide awake, thinking it’s lunchtime.

Sorry for the less than stellar puncuation, spelling and grammar.  I’m off to take some melatonin and see if I can get my sleep cycle back in synch.

tootles